Thursday, June 21, 2017 — Good morning,World!
Here’s a clue for those of you who think that wearing an Eleven Thousand dollar watch on your wrist is going to buy you some prestige among the clueless horde that surrounds you on your daily journeys —- It won’t!
In point of fact chances are that nobody at all will notice unless you do something or say something to force them to notice and if you do that then you are a first class jerk!
So my advice to you this morning is, “You are probably just as well off to go out in the crowd with a $20 ticker from the big box store and just as likely not to have to worry about personal security when walking down the streets that you have to share with a bunch of shadowy flakes lurking in the doorways of buildings.
Here’s another tip for the astute enjoyers of the little things in life: “Do not present me with a plate of something called “Chicken Enchiladas” and definitely do not present me with a slice of something else called “Chicken Pizza!” — Chicken is wonderful prepared in many and sundry ways but if you want to get on the wrong side of me then go ahead and try me with the aforementioned two culinary outrages.
I am positively going to have to get up and go outside — screw how hot it gets — and do a little running or jogging or something because I am positively going to pot sitting around this comfortable, much-too-big, air-conditioned old place being coddled and pampered and waited on …. I am going stir crazy and I have to go ride my bike or walk or jog or some damned thing … the closer I get to my 79th birthday the lazier I seem to be! — “Fawk!” —- Ha! Ha! Ha! — Let’s see if changing one letter in a word makes it any less repugnant to overly-sensitive souls.
I hate the fact that my favorite mens’ cologne costs more than $300 U.S.D per 100-ml bottle so I am going to do something I haven’t done in a long time. I’m going to become cheap and use an essential perfume oil I found that emulates my favorite scent very closely and only costs $25 for 4 ounces …. and I have ordered it and it is on the way and should be here by June 28! — Am I bad or what? — My Bangladeshi buddy who runs the cologne store is going to be pissed at me but what can I say? — The one thing that nobody can ever accuse me of is being a faithful friend. — If you don’t give me a discount on my favorite cologne then I am most likely to go find an alternate source and that is just the kind of unthoughtful, ungrateful bastard that I am. — I cannot help myself!
Well let’s see now — My WordPress.com premium paid subscription to my private domain is going to expire on July 28, 2017 and once it expires and I fail to pay the $99 U.S. Dollars needed to renew it, the blog, “John Liming.Blog” will disappear forever and I will probably do what one of my best friends on the whole Internet suggested I do, — I might use the “Free” WordPress.Com even though if I do that it means my readers — Bwahahahahahah ….. My readers might have to contend with advertising in their face ….I don’t know — I am not there yet — I might still relent and pay the fee and renew the darned thing …. who knows?
I have been wanting to get a new smart phone but I keep hearing all these stories about batteries exploding and catching fire and burning up in the pockets of users …. I am not ready to risk having something blow up and burn my ass to a crisp or burn out a couple of rooms of the house … or put smoke into the air and hurt my little pet bird. — Am I being paranoid or am I being sensible? — If you are out there and you have managed to struggle this far through this post can you advice me on whether or not I can safely purchase a new smart phone and not have to worry about it catching fire?
I haven’t purchased a box of prepared cold cereal for years now and so today I am going to get dressed and jog to the local market and pick up a box of old-fashioned rolled wheat flakes and a couple of bananas and go nuts! — That used to be my go-to breakfast before I got all fancy and everything with meat and eggs and omelets and all those things that people who are nobody but who want to appear to be somebody do to themselves ….I was once a total nobody who didn’t have the proverbial pot to piss in and I am not so sure that I wasn’t a lot better off and more happy back then than I am now.
Maybe my problem is that as I have grown older I have become jaded to the point where I just don’t appreciate anything anymore. — I haven’t a clue. — I do know that age brings on a certain amount of deterioration of body, mind and brain … and maybe that is where I am and maybe that is what the matter is with me …. I am just an old Klutz!
So there is the first rant of the morning my bitches … my friends …. my soul-mates …. my lovers … my wannabe lovers … my pets … my friends …. whichever category you fall into …. there is my first mindless rant of the day …. Let’s see what happens during the rest of what is left of the day — Just remember: No chicken enchiladas please!